Temple Isaiah SB

*Sing Children Will Listen* Careful the things you say,

Children will listen.

Careful the things you do,

Children will see.

And learn.

Children may not obey,

But children will listen.

Children will look to you

For which way to turn,

To learn what to be.

Careful before you say,

“Listen to me.”

Children will listen.

In the Late Stephen Sondheim’s popular 1987 musical “Into the Woods,” we are presented with some very familiar characters and stories. At the end of the very first act, Cinderella and the prince who sought the glass-slipper’s owner are married, Rapunzel is found by her prince, and bears children, The Baker’s wife, who so wanted to be a mother, is now with child, Jack comes down from his beanstalk, and it seems the giant that was on his tail is no more. It could easily be said that the end of Act 1 is where we would traditionally end the fairy tales with…”And they all lived happily ever after!.”

But this is just Act 1. In Act 2, The narrator starts with the line “Once upon a time..later.” Cinderella becomes bored and discontent, the newly wealthy Jack longs again for his adventures in the sky, Rapunzel is starting to unravel, and the Baker and Baker’s wife struggle with the challenges of their newborn son. 

Stephen Sondheim, who wrote the music and lyrics, was absolutely Jewish. In this week’s parsha, Eikev, Moses is continuing his discourse, and is warning the Jewish people about Act 2. Moses seems to be the narrator, letting people know that they are only toward the trap of Act 1’s ending, right before intermission. The Israelites have been through so much in their 40 years wandering in the wilderness. They now stand on the east bank of the Jordan River, ready to cross over into the Promised Land. Once they enter the land, and the nations that inhabit it are cast out, is this “happily ever after.”? Moses makes it exceedingly clear that is only the end of Act 1, it is “Once upon a time…later.” He warns the people of Israel against the complacency that can come with relative comfort and prosperity. He says, “Take care lest you forget Adonai your God…lest you eat and be satisfied, and you build good houses and settle, and your cattle and sheep and goats increase, and you increase silver and gold for yourselves, and everything that you have will increase…” Be careful of “happily ever after.” Moses goes on to warn the people of complete assimilation into the worship of other gods, which would have the consequence of the loss of Israelite peoplehood entirely. Moses again entreats the people to remember how God took the people out of the constraints of “eretz mitzrayim,” the land of Egypt. Nachmanides (the Ramban), one of our most famous Medieval scholars, tells us that it would not be difficult for the Israelites to begin to believe that only their own strength enabled them to defeat the Canannites. Always remembering the difficulties of Egypt and the Wilderness would cause them to realize that not their strength, but also God’s was what enabled them to prevail. Remember Egypt, Remember God. Remember it’s only the beginning of Act 2. 

How do we enter the next Act of American Jewry? Do we ever ask, “Why is Judaism important to me and my family?” How can I incorporate Judaism meaningfully into my busy modern life? Where does God fit into our contemporary, mostly well-educated, and modern sensibilities? Is God in opposition to reason, to practicality, to science? If we view God as an antiquated idea meant only for those who need mindless comfort, then perhaps that is where perceived Divine disconnect begins. 

A great Jewish mind that I often turn to is Martin Buber. Buber famously believed that our pathway to knowing God is inherent in our relationships with people. Buber describes two types of relationships. The I-It relationship is based upon practicality. When one uses something or someone for practical purposes, one is engaged in an I-It relationship. The I-Thou relationship moves beyond the “what can I get from you,” and into a more spiritually meaningful territory. It is characterized by equality, openness, and genuine encounter. A meaningful relationship with God is the pinnacle and aspirational “Thou,” and we move closer to God whenever we truly take part in an I-Thou relationship.

Perhaps the Judaism that maintains the Jewish people will have to begin with a knowledge of the “why is this important to me?” question. What can this do for my family? What am I to gain? These seemingly I-It questions can so quickly, with the proper approach, become I-Thou relationships. When we learn that the treasure trove of our tradition is based upon relationships, we can find that the answer to “why does Judaism matter” contains remembering the past, but also goes beyond that. It cares for us in the present, through the lifecycle of birth to death and beyond. Rabbi Ben Bag Bag, one of our Sages says of the Torah, “Turn it over and over, for everything is in it.” 

Are we in Act 2 in America as Jews? While we inevitably do have struggles, and antisemitism is not a thing of the past; many do live relatively comfortable and successful lives. It can become deceivingly easy to forget to nurture our relationship with the Divine. In America, many princes found the owners of their lost slippers, Rapunzels have come down from their towers, and Jacks have been left without the imminent threat of giants up the beanstalk. It is what we do when we get beyond “happily ever after” that defines who we will be. Part of the Jewish journey is finding God in our modern lives. Where does God sit at our tables? Does God have a seat at all? 

May we all be blessed to realize the Holiness in our relationships with one another, and to actively resist the tendency to view God as a competitor to reason, but to see God as a pathway to a life of meaning, legacy, empathy and passion. Let us enter the 2nd act understanding that happily ever after, and entrance into a prosperous land is not an ending, but a beginning and an opportunity to foster our relationships with one another, and to find God. “Into the Woods” ends with the realization that our choices have impact, and that we are all connected. The musical also ends with the song which begins: “Careful the things you say, children will listen.” May we remember the power of our words to impact those whom we influence…and perhaps we can find God in Act 2, after the intermission…for the lights in the lobby will inevitably flicker, and we will be asked to return for Happily ever after…later. Perhaps within these subsequent struggles do our purest encounters with The Divine emerge.

Into the woods, but mind the past.

Into the woods, but mind the future.

Into the woods, but not to stray,

Or tempt the Wolf or steal from the Giant-

The way is dark,

The light is dim,

But now there’s you,

Me, her and him.

The chances look small,

The choices look grim,

But everything you learn there

Will help when you return there.

The light is getting dimmer-

I think I see a glimmer-

Into the woods

Shabbat Shalom

– Rabbi Josh Gray

The late great Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, former chief rabbi of England once gave a sermon wherein he repeated the phrase…”We live in an unforgiving age.” He repeated these words so fearlessly and passionately that one was forced to listen. His message rings in my ears to this day, and one can find echoes and sirens of his sentiment in this week’s double portion of Matot-Masei (tribes, journeys). There is a concept in psychology called the “fundamental attribution error.” This is a psychological phenomenon wherein one attributes the behavior of a person immediately to some internal disposition or inherent flaw. Unfortunately, these immediate judgments are often quite skewed. A great example of this seems to occur when we are in traffic and someone performs a maneuver we might not like. Have any of us ever uttered some choice and extreme words when cut off by an errant driver? That person must be *insert character judgment here*. Or, that person does not care about other people. That person is not good. Think about days at school. Have we ever labeled someone quickly as “uncool,” or someone to stay away from. How easy is it to allow someone to sit alone at the lunch table because of something silly? It can be quite easy to attribute a single behavior or instance to an inherent and dispositional character flaw. This is hardly a fair way to navigate the world. But, we do not always have the time to sit back and reflect in a world where we must sometimes make quick judgments and jump from one situation to the next. But perhaps there are times when we can make the mindful decision to take a breath and do what I like to call…deepen our compassionate curiosity. 

As the Israelites are set to enter the Promised land, they are situated East of The Jordan River. Crossing this river will lead them into the Land of Canaan, and into many conflicts with the inhabitants. The tribes of Reuben and Gad are plentiful with flocks of cattle. They want land east of the Jordan to tend to their livestock, as it is prime property for this purpose..Moses is infuriated with their request, thinking they are, at this pivotal moment, abandoning the rest of their Israelite brethren. He says, “Should your fellow Israelites go to war while you sit here? Why do you discourage the Israelites from crossing over into the land the Lord has given them?” Reuben and Gad clarify their situation, and Moses’ anger decreases. Not only will the tribes of Reuben and Gad (and eventually half of the tribe of Mannaseh) enter into the land to fight alongside the Israelites. They will actually place themselves at the front lines. Not until the land is entirely conquered will these tribes take their place back east. At Sinai, the Israelites all said, “Naaseh V’nishmah” (I will do, and I will listen) Perhaps sometimes we must listen first, and then do. To be fair, it seems that the tribes of Reuben and Gad might have a communication issue. Later, in the Book of Joshua, the tribes in question fulfill their obligation in Canaan, but go back to their land East of the Jordan and erect an altar to the Lord. The Israelites see this altar-building as a hostile act and are ready to go to war. None other than the zealot Pinchas, seemingly a more thoughtful person now, go and clarify the situation with Reuben and Gad. Again, it’s a misunderstanding. The tribes actually built the altar with the intention of wanting to be seen as similar to their fellow Israelites west of the Jordan River. This was not an act of separation, but a desire for inclusion. It all gets clarified, and civil war is avoided. 

We see in Parshah Masei, Cities of refuge are ordered to be built (3 east of the Jordan, 3 west of the Jordan) to protect someone who has committed accidental murder, or manslaughter from a “goel ha-dam-a blood avenger.” The Torah and God seem to realize that not all crimes are created equal, and that many people act far before considering the nuances of a situation. The Torah is a bold and progressive document in its approach to human behavior, and perhaps even the concept of restorative justice. We all deserve to be heard, to be understood, and perhaps to even be forgiven for mistakes. When communication breaks down, and we act on immediate emotion only, we do not fulfill our potential as thoughtful creations made b’tzelem Elohim, in God’s image. 

Prior to devoting myself full time to congregational life, I worked full time as a director in mental health and addiction. In this world we have a rising and properly certified group of “peer specialists” or “peer advocates.” These individuals have lived experience with acute and chronic struggles. Many of them describe being cast off by society, by the justice system, and by most people–living and navigating in an unforgiving world. Some have been labeled as criminals, as beyond help, as non-productive members of society. Some feel so far from the figurative Jordan River that any Promised Land seems out of reach. To be labeled an “addict,” a “schizophrenic.” a “criminal.” There is such harsh finality to these words and terms. Some of these individuals have turned their struggles into precious knowledge that is now used to help others who are not as far along in their recovery journeys. They can speak to people on a level that is different from other professionals. What if they were not given a chance? What if they were quickly snuffed out from society? What if they became victim to a “goel ha-dam,” a proverbial blood-avenger who would have them locked up or sent away? 

If society acts quickly, without forethought whether we are in our cars judging another driver, in the classroom labeling another student, or in the more macro world, casting off those who we might deem “difficult” or “troublesome”…what kind of world are we setting ourselves up to live in? Do we live, as Rabbi Sacks would say, in an “unforgiving age.” or can we foster in an age of compassionate curiosity? Can we take a breath, use our ability to discern, and look deeper? Are we quick to sometimes jump down the throat of someone who makes a mistake, or are we understanding and empathetic? How can we all give one another the space to be imperfect, to make mistakes, and thus,  create the space to grow?

May we be blessed to see beyond one moment, to perhaps scan the forest through the trees, and to see all people as precious. Let us ask ourselves how we can create a forgiving age, as opposed to an unforgiving one. If we always return to communication as opposed to condemnation, we can turn discord into clarity, and perhaps, even growth; maybe even forgiveness. Our Torah teaches us that we will certainly be all the better for it. Ken y’hi ratzon… 

Shabbat Shalom

– Rabbi Josh Gray