Parshat Vayishlach – December 1, 2023 / 19 Kislev 5784
Dan Gable was a two-time NCAA Division 1 Wrestling Champion, a world gold medalist and an olympic gold medalist. He was also very quotable. He once said, “Once you’ve wrestled, everything in life is easy.” Wrestling, known as a truly exhausting, humbling, and difficult sport is front and center this week. My wrestling career ended in Elementary school. Let’s just say being a member of “mat rats” wrestling club, with a personified rat on the t-shirt, and trying to pin my friends was exhausting. In this week’s Torah portion we have what is certainly the holiest wrestling match in all of history. Jacob, who has left his uncle’s house after many years, is back in the wilderness, fleeing again (this seems to be a theme for him). Word is out that Esau, Jacob’s brother whom he wronged so many years ago, is not only on the way toward Jacob’s camp, but he is also coming with 400 men, implying military might and possible bad intentions.
Jacob separates himself from his camp, his possessions, his wives, his children, and that night we are told: “vayeiaveik ish imo- and a man wrestled with Him.” According to our prophet Hosea, this “man” was an Angel. According to some, this was Esau’s guardian angel, and according to Jacob himself, he was wrestling with God Godsself. Jacob actually names the site of the wrestling match “Peniel” meaning literally “face of God.” The name of our people “Yisrael” is a combination of the words “Yisra-to prevail over” and “El-God.”
While there are many interpretations regarding the exact nature and meaning of this holy wrestling match. I ask you…what does it mean to wrestle with God? We all have so many experiences that make up our lives, no matter what our age. When all of the noise is gone, and we are alone at night with our thoughts, As Jacob was, what battles do we wage? When all of the distractions of the world are asleep, is this when we have a moment to face God in whatever iteration God appears to us. Do we struggle with thoughts about our own worth? Do we toil with how we might have mistreated others? Do we wrestle with decisions we have made, and we are yet to make? How do we know which way to go, and how to do the right thing? Jacob eventually is given the name “Israel,” because he seemingly successfully wrestles with all of these questions and more. Jacob, like us as Jews and the namesakes of Jacob/Israel, does not stop changing however, because of this one victory.
Jacob so often goes between the name Jacob and Israel, with many of our commentators telling us that Jacob represents the earthly aspects, and Israel the holy aspect for which our people are named. Perhaps Israel is always aspirational. We aspire to come closer to God. To see God as Jacob saw God, and as Moses later sees God: Panim al Panim, or face-to-face.
Interesting that Jacob’s most direct contact with holiness is during a time of strain and stress. The Jewish people have historically been in a state of strain, stress, and uncertainty; yet we always long for our showdowns with God. Our encounters with God are not always beautiful hellos, but sometimes present themselves as “why’s” and “how could yous?” As Jacob, we sometimes limp away from our holy encounters…exhausted and depleted. Yet as a people we keep getting back up. We search again for God. We refuse to let go until we receive our blessing, as Jacob did. While we can feel and act Israel in many moments, sometimes we revert back to being earthly Jacob, but we aspire again to Israel. “I will not let you go until you bless me,” Jacob says to his adversary at the tail end of that famous wrestling match. I will not let you go until I know who I am, until I know what my destiny is, until I feel in touch with my higher calling. Do we all, in some way or another, demand this blessing?
Jacob goes on from the wrestling match to make a cool peace with Esau, at least for the moment. Jacob prostrates himself before Esau, hardly the behavior that we might expect of someone who has just physically contended with a possible celestial being or even God Godsself the night before. But isn’t this so human? Jacob lives in all of us. Jacob is not perfect. Jacob has fears, losses, triumphs, and insecurities. Within Jacob and within all of us lies Israel. Israel, a great nation that is in the constant process of being created. A nation that has stood the test of time, of diaspora, of genocidal attempts. We wrestle with God every day of our lives that we live as Jewish people. We struggle to do the right things, to say the right thing, to be the right thing.
In this constant wrestling match lives our holiness. Let us continue to grapple with God, to Spar with the Sparks. In the struggle lives the light of holiness. Dan Gable, the prolific wrestler also gives us another quote. Gable said, “I never won anything by myself. I was always strong because of help that gave me extra strength to win.” While wrestling is a solo sport, we can all prepare one another with the strength and support to take on any adversary that comes our way. This is how and why, “Am Yisrael Chai.”
Shabbat Shalom.
– Rabbi Josh Gray