Parshat Vayeshev – December 20, 2024 / 20 Kislev, 5785
It was 11:03 PM, and I was still staring at chapter 38 of Genesis. I had spent hours poring over the text, looking through commentaries, even annoyingly nudging Meghan when Rashi or Rambam weren’t cutting it to get her opinion; all while she was trying to lesson-plan for the upcoming kindergarten week. I have to admit; I almost did it. I nearly gave in. I came “this close” to avoiding chapter 38, and choosing to bring up something with a simpler and more neatly-packaged message. I was determined however, to talk about it. Chapter 38 would make its way to Temple Isaiah this Friday night. Here we are. Heinenu!
This difficult-to-wrestle-with chapter occurs directly in the middle of the beautifully-packaged narrative of Joseph. Most of us know the story of Joseph’s dreams, his father’s favoritism, his brothers’ jealousy, and his eventual sale and enslavement in Egypt. We might be a bit less familiar with what happens in Torah directly after the sale of Joseph by his brothers.
Chapter 38 of Genesis arrives to us. This tells us that as Joseph “went down” to Egypt, his brother, Judah, who had proposed selling Joseph, “descended” in his own way. Judah leaves the path of his family, of the eventual people of Israel. He has three children with Shua, a Canaanite, which is considered less than righteous. Eventually Judah’s oldest son Er is married to a woman named Tamar. Er is considered wicked by God, or does something displeasing, and dies. Er’s younger brother Onan is obligated through custom to marry Tamar. His children would carry on the name of his older brother. Onan, unhappy with the prospect of fathering children that would not be his own, spills his seed. This is unacceptable to God, and he is also killed. There is one very young son of Judah left; Shelah. Judah decides that marrying his only living son to Tamar is not a great idea based upon past experience, and he does her an unkindness. Instead of allowing her to become a true “widow,” he casts her into a state of flux, forcing her to live with her own father, childless, without a partner. Can we blame Judah for being cautious with his only living son? Isn’t he just being a protective parent? Meghan and I discussed: “Clearly Tamar killed these husbands,” Meghan said confidently. “No. God did. It says so in the text.” Meghan replied “OK,” not at all convinced, and continued lesson-planning.
Chapter 38 gets even more complicated from there. Let’s just say that Tamar, sure of the fact that Judah will leave her in limbo forever, with face covered, meets Judah along the road, and procreates with him. Judah is none the wiser regarding who this woman was. Our text also makes it clear that Judah “takes her for a “zonah,” which is sometimes translated to mean prostitute, but it’s really more complicated than that. So, Judah assumes without question or concern, and acts. Tamar keeps his personal cord, seal and staff as “payment,” and Judah goes on his way. About 3 months later, when Judah finds out that Tamar is pregnant, he is completely furious, and demands that she be burnt. Having seemingly anticipated this reaction, Tamar presents Judah with his own cord, seal, and staff, proving that he is indeed, the father. Judah recognizes the error of his ways, and claims that Tamar is more righteous than he is.
Chapter 38 concludes with Tamar giving birth to twins. The younger son pushes forward, and Tamar says, “With what strength you asserted yourself!” This child is named Perez. Perez, we come to learn, is the first in the line of King David. The same king David from whom it is said the moshiach; the savior of the world will arrive. Without the confusion and chaos of chapter 38, we would have no King David, No King Solomon, no Holy Temple-builder. The list goes on and on.
So, what is the message here in chapter 38. What do we learn? Rabbi Aaron Leven brings up an interesting point. When discussing Tamar’s seeming trickery of Judah by veiling her face, Leven claims, “Tamar in fact wants to be seen! Not only does she speak to Judah directly, but she does so while standing at Petah Einaim “the entrance of Enaim,” a phrase that literally translates to “opening of the eyes.” Is Judah so concerned with what Tamar must be doing wrong that he fails to open his own eyes, to see the glaring error of his own ways. Does he not even attempt to look at the world from Tamar’s perspective?
Judah does something remarkable in terms of Torah. He takes a deep breath that we can all learn from. He realizes that Tamar could have shamed him. She had the proof and the power, but she did not. She spared his spirit, and Judah lets her know that she is more righteous than he.
Really, this seems to be a turning point for Judah, and we learn much more about his growth of character as Genesis plays out, and the story of Joseph unfolds. To go from proposing his own brother’s sale, to leaving the family and advocating for the burning death of his daughter-in-law, all the way to offering his own freedom for that of his brother’s; He is used often as an example of the ultimate penitent…the baal teshuva, the master of return…someone who has completely turned their life around, and returned to the path of holiness and God. We do know that Judah has experienced all of Chapter 38, and he has become better for the struggle. I ask all of us tonight. We all have a chapter 38, and we can allow it to change us in a holy way. Sometimes, we might be Tamar, desperate to remain relevant, mistreated. Sometimes we are Judah; we act too quickly, we let rage control a moment. In a world so full of polar extremes, does Chapter 38 try to center us? Does it tell us to look at one another as human, and understand that the world is not a pristine package. There is gray!
Perhaps all of us have to meet as Judah and Tamar, at “Petah Einaim,” the entrance that can open our eyes. We have to deepen our compassionate curiosity when we are far too sure of our own perspectives. We must peek underneath the veil of our own assumptions. Chapter 38 is still a demanding section in that there are no clear answers. Can we see the righteousness in behaviors we do not immediately understand? Great American playwright Tennessee Williams said: “There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ people. Some are a little better or a little worse but all are activated more by misunderstanding than malice. A blindness to what is going on in each other’s hearts… Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos.” No one seems completely right or completely wrong. It’s messy, chaotic, and so rife for interpretation. While the Joseph story that surrounds it is a beautiful 4-week narrative that sets the stage for the Exodus saga, chapter 38 of Genesis is life. It is a struggle. It is confusing and multifaceted. It is writing and deleting entire paragraphs. It is keeping us up at night reconsidering and reformulating. It is missteps that seem devastating. But through the furrowed brow, the contending, a new spark of God is brought into the world. Chapter 38 is birth in the face of death…a spark that eventually will lead to tikkun olam- the repairing of the world. Chapter 38 is beautiful bedlam…A taste of who we are as a people.
On this holy Shabbat, I urge you not to evade the chapter 38s of your own lives. Your difficult and even painful moments are just as welcome in this holy space as your lighthearted and exuberant times. Bring the tough stuff, too. The answers are not always clear, but when we share our efforts with one another, we can find so much meaning in the mysterious and the murky. From those deep waters of indecisiveness and uncertainty arise the most holy designs. we, Yehudim, Jews, are named For Judah. How appropriate. We are never too far gone to make our way back to the path of clarity and righteousness. We’re not perfect. We must simply open ourselves to eye-opening moments, and be receptive to becoming perfected by God. That can surely be enough. When it all feels too much, sometimes we must simply move forward. Time for Chapter 39.
Shabbat Shalom
– Rabbi Josh Gray