Parshat Yitro – February 2, 2024 / 24 Shvat, 5784
“It’s just too much to handle.” “I have to check out.” I find that most people are irritating me.” “I’m just exhausted from it all.” Do we ever think, or maybe even say, some of these things? As many of us here in this sanctuary seek the peace and quietude of Shabbat, we often reflect on, and try to cast off, some of the harshness of the week. How many of us spend our days wearing multiple hats, spinning a variety of plates, and running back and forth between activities, games, practices, or picking up the grandkids, kids, going to appointments? When we are not taking care of our children, our grandchildren, our parents, or anyone else, we are likely working at our respective day jobs. Many work in the human services industry, where people are often pressured to serve others, even at the expense of their own physical and mental health.Some of us are just natural empaths. Perhaps you always get the phone call when someone is struggling or in need of advice. No matter what we do day-to-day, it tends to be fast-paced and rather taxing. To put it simply, our society is rife with the deep fatigue of burnout. Our own Mishkan T’Filah, when speaking of our earthly responsibilities, asks us to “…let these drop away at the door.”
According to the World Health Organization, burnout is a syndrome resulting from workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It’s characterized by three dimensions: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance from one’s job or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job, and reduced professional efficacy. We could likely expand burnout to reach beyond the workplace and into so many areas of our lives, especially since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic.
As it turns out, our great prophet Moses, was also at risk of becoming a victim of burnout and compassion fatigue. Luckily, he had an advocate who noticed the potential problem and took action. This week’s Torah portion is called “Yitro,” which is the Hebrew for “Jethro,” father of Moses’ wife, Zipporah, Midiante High Priest, and father-in-law of Moses. This particular parshah is quite famous for its description of G-d’s giving of the Ten Commandments to the people of Israel, but it is also of particular intrigue to delve a bit deeper into the man behind the name of the parshah: Jethro. In a Torah portion with the giving of our famous commandments, we have a parsha named not only for a person, but for a non-Jewish person at that!
Jethro is an important figure in Moses’ life, and it is possible that Jethro had been keeping an eye on Moses since he was a child. According to a particular Midrash; when Moses was a child growing up in Egypt, he would take Pharaoh’s crown and put it on his own head playfully. Pharaoh’s advisors were not particularly fond of this puerile behavior, and warned the Pharaoh that he who puts the Pharaoh’s crown on his own head will eventually steal the kingdom of Egypt. While many suggested that Moses be burned immediately, Jethro, who was an advisor to Pharaoh at the time, reiterated the fact that Moses was a child and had no understanding of what he was doing. This perspective eventually saved a young Moses from likely death (The Book of Legends: Sefer Ha-Aggadah). Seems that Jethro was getting his start as a mental wellness advocate and understood human development on a different level than his powerful contemporaries.
Jethro, in this week’s parshah, displays again why he just might be the exemplar of the perfect father-in-law. He brings Moses’ wife and children to meet Moses in the desert, is told of G-d’s role in the people of Israel’s escape from Egypt, and decided not only to believe all that Moses had told him, but to embrace the G-d of Israel as being “…greater than all gods” (Exodus 18:11). Later in the parshah, Jethro witnesses Moses at work. acting as a judge and legislator, sitting alone, doing all of this judging and legislating from morning until night. It is no exaggeration to say that Jethro is troubled by what he sees. Jethro subsequently states his concern for Moses’ welfare. He is worried that Moses is going to burn himself out. Moses is running himself ragged.
The following words from Exodus could be spoken to many of us here today, and not need much unpacking or modernizing: “And Moses’ father-in-law said unto him: ‘The thing that you do is not good. You will surely wear away, both you, and this people that is with you; for the thing is too heavy for you; you are not able to perform it yourself alone” (Exodus 20:17-18). Rashi says that the weight of the deed is too heavy for the strength of Moses, and that he will eventually wither as a leaf might. Haven’t we all felt at some point, that the weight of our responsibilities was a bit much to bear? I have often spoken of the emotional and physical toll of allostatic load, or the impacts of chronic stress on all of our systems. I use the analogy of a backpack being filled and filled until it finally pulls down the wearer due to its sheer weight. It sounds like both Jethro and Rashi were understanding of this risk far in a manner that was far ahead of their times.
How can we apply Jethro’s advice to ourselves as moderns? Are many of us carrying multiple burdens that are simply too much. We surely cannot be everything to everyone all of the time and remain physically, psychologically, and spiritually well ourselves. Jethro tells Moses to do something that many of us have trouble doing: Delegate! We do not always have to go at it alone. According to Rashi, Jethro tells Moses to use the prophetic insight which G-d has granted him to find some suitable help, and Moses proceeds to act upon the suggestion (Hertz Commentary p. 290). When we dole out tasks to capable others, ask for help when we need it, and listen to the advice of those who have our welfare at heart, we can avoid burning out.
May we all be blessed to listen to the “Jethros” of our own lives, and avoid taking on too much at a time. Only if we are upright can we strive to this week’s aspiration of becoming a “kingdom of priests” and “holy nation.”. The people of Israel do say: “All that G‑d has spoken, we shall do.” The key word being “WE.”
Shabbat Shalom.
– Rabbi Josh Gray